Let me get this out of the way, this is not an anti-reading post. To the contrary, this is a pro book post. I am challenging you to change the way you read books. I want you to go beyond just reading the book and have an actual conversation with the message.

I know a lot of people that love to read. My wife, Kim Yarborough of civilitynation.com, has read 16 books this year. We often read the same books close to the same time and talk about them. This is not the conversation I talking about. We have learned to buy two of most books not because of timing but because of the way I read. I love to read, but I am a little slower than most. The picture is my copy of Seth Godin book "What to do When It's You Turn". You can see why we buy two books.

I embrace a couple of challenges when reading. It is these challenges that have changed the way I read and given me some wonderful experiences with books. I am sharing what these challenges have taught me with you so you will have a deeper love of books and relationship with the content.

A book is the life of another person

One of the first changes that needs to take place to hold a conversation is understanding what a book is. A book, fiction or not, carries some part of the author's life in the words. Whether it is horror, suspense, action, thriller, mystery, inspirational, documentary, history or Basket Weaving for Dummies, part of the author's life and person is in the those words. Anyone that has taken an English class has dealt with the "meaning" of one section of a book. This is especially true in the inspirational and self-improvement arenas. A book is a tool forged from the author's life as gift to the reader to improve and expand his or her life. This change in perspective allows the person behind the book to hold their side of the conversation.

A book is a tool forged from the author's life as gift to the reader to improve and expand his or her life.

Listen to the book

Because of the way my mind processes information I carry on a running dialogue with the book as I read. Just as in a conversation with another person, I hear the book in my mind. There is inflection and tone to words. There is a cadence to the flow. This changes the book from just words on a page into the words of an actual person. They are the words of the author.

Ask the question

Every Librarian in the world is going to cringe here. I read a book with a pen and highlighter. As I listen to the book I have questions and observations. There are places that I want to agree, challenge, or question the content. When this happens, I make a note in the book on the page or highlight the section of agreement. Even the points of agreement are often annotated. The benefit of this is allowing me to remember a question which may be answered later in the book, find an idea I want to expand on, or something I want to use in my work. Many times, these notes become workbook ideas for teaching the material. They also become support for something I am working on.

It also lets me go back and see if I had my questions answered. If they are not, then I have a new area to explore which leads to a deeper well of knowledge to draw from. These notes are as priceless as that piece of wisdom found in the conversation with a trusted mentor.

The disagreement has value

There are points in reading you will absolutely disagree with the author. Some of my best writing has come from these disagreements. To find the value, you must first get past the emotion. This is true of reading and conversation. As long as emotions are the primary focus, understanding and expansion of perspective cannot happen. I am not talking about removing the emotion, I am talking about embracing the emotion and going past it to the cause. It may be a belief, prejudice, assumption, or historical nerve that is the source of the disagreement and emotion, and it is in the source that value is found. Whether we change our minds where we disagree or not, value is found in the exploration of the source of the distension.

I love finding things I disagree with in books and conversations. I love being proven wrong. To disagree cause me to examine my point of view and either change it, have a better understanding of it, or change the importance of the belief in my life. Any of these causes a change in the way I live my life. My mental and emotional horizon is wider while my life becomes more focused through the understanding gained.

Bonus time

Let me give you a little real world insight here. This is bonus content. The book cannot change me whether I agree or disagree with the content. It is what I do with the content that changes me. In a conversation where people are active and engaged, the exact same thing holds true for everyone involved. You cannot change them and they cannot change you and only you are affected by what you choose to take away from the conversation. When my emotions begin to rise in reaction to the content of book or conversation, I need to get beyond my emotion to the source to gain understanding and clarity about my life. When I see the other person's in the conversation emotion begin to rise I need to guide the conversation to go past the other person's emotions so I gain clarity on their life. The secret is not trying to push past the emotion, but to acknowledge, accept, and embrace them from both sides. Acknowledge and respect the passion of the moment; the story behind them is worth learning.

Last things

Holding a conversation with the written word changes you. When we take the time to invest in conversation with a book or a person we come away richer, deeper, and with a broader perspective of life. The reason is simple, as is most wisdom. In a true conversation, we expose ourselves and gain a better understanding of who we are. The real person comes out from behind the defenses and masks and we trust another with the most precious gift we can give the world, us. When we expose our lives openly in conversation we explore our lives in a light we do not fully control. There is risk and excitement in this light because we find what is good and what is not. We see our virtue and our fault, what we need to strengthen and what we need to diminish or ask help with. It is the interaction in a relationship of respect with something or someone outside of you that deepens who you are uniquely.

If you have not figured it out, this is not just about reading a book. It is about learning to hold a conversation with all of life. The words are the world around you, the pen is the mental impressions you write in your mind, and the highlighter is the mental pictures you take in the moment.

From the Desiderata by Max Ehrmann:

"Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story."

Have a conversation with the world around you today and tomorrow will bring a new enjoyment to life.